"Every day I wake up to this reality. It's been an emotional rollercoaster of thinking we’d get back together"




 "Every day I wake up to this reality. It's been an emotional rollercoaster of thinking we’d get back together, and this time it feels like all the hope is gone. How do I face this? How do I show him I have more respect for myself when I just want to cave and beg for him? How do I push us to sell our home that our son grew up in and face my son's tears as his dad and mom move out separately?! Why is my effort and offers not enough for him? Why does he not allow for our happiness 😭"

My Take: First, let me say how much your pain and confusion come through here. You’re holding onto hope, love, and responsibility all at once, and it’s emotionally exhausting. Let’s start by unpacking a few things.

Facing this new reality begins with you, not him. You can’t control his choices, and as much as it hurts, his lack of effort isn’t a reflection of your worth—it’s about his own limitations. Respecting yourself means choosing to live your life on your terms, even if it’s hard to let go. That’s not weakness; it’s strength.

When it comes to the home, frame it not as a loss but as a transition. Yes, there will be tears and grief, but kids are resilient. What your son needs most is to see you handling this with as much calm and love as you can muster. A new start doesn’t erase the memories made in the house—it creates room for new ones.

Lastly, stop asking why your efforts weren’t enough. That question will keep you stuck in a loop that won’t bring answers. Instead, focus on building happiness for yourself and your son—on your own terms, not waiting for his approval.

Helpful Resources:

  1. "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola – A witty and empowering read available on Amazon.
  2. DivorceCare – A resource for emotional support and practical tools during separation.

And remember: This is a chapter, not the whole book. You deserve a partner who chooses you, just as you’re choosing yourself and your son now.

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