How is everyone getting through these holidays?


 

"How is everyone getting through these holidays? I was married for 20 years and my husband left me about a month ago. I don't have any local family except for my kids, and they obviously want both of us together with my in-laws. Every day feels like an epic panic attack while he's out living his best life, and I'm with the kids while they cry and ask questions."

My Take: First, let’s just say it—you’re in a brutal season right now. And the holidays? They can feel like a cruel spotlight on everything you’ve lost. But let’s shift that focus a bit because this isn’t just the season of giving—it’s also a time to reclaim. Reclaim your sanity, your strength, and little moments of joy, even when it feels impossible.

Your husband’s "best life" might look shiny from the outside, but the reality of walking out on a 20-year marriage isn’t as glamorous as it seems. Focus on what you can control—being the anchor your kids need. You don’t have to sugarcoat the situation for them, but you can create new traditions that are just yours. Make pancakes for dinner, watch silly holiday movies, or have a family dance-off in the living room. Let this year be messy, imperfect, and uniquely yours.

Lean on your support network, even if it’s not local. Call, text, Zoom—whatever keeps you connected to people who care about you. And give yourself permission to grieve, rage, cry, and rest. You’ve earned the right to feel all the feelings.

Helpful Resources:

  1. "Option B" by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant – A beautiful guide to finding resilience after loss.
  2. Single Parents Alliance of America – An online community for support and resources.

And remember: The holidays don’t have to be picture-perfect to be meaningful. You’re building something new, and that takes courage.

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