It’s been about three months since my ex kicked me out

 

", and I’m still struggling. I’m here in Florida with no friends, and honestly, I didn’t have many back home either. Right now, I’m doing 50/50 custody with our baby, but I’m renting a room in a two-bedroom townhouse, and she sleeps in my bed most nights because she cries in the crib.

I’ve been thinking about joining a group, maybe pickleball or something, to try and meet people because I’m just feeling alone. Florida is so expensive, and as a teacher, it’s hard to make ends meet. Her mom is a doctor, so I feel like I’m constantly playing catch-up.

I still love her. I don’t understand how it ended, but she said it was 'all the little things.' I made a mistake—one night, I got drunk and yelled, and that was it. We communicate through that stupid app now, and every time I ask for her back, she shuts me down.

Part of me thinks maybe I should give up the 50/50 custody for now, focus on bettering myself, and try to get it back later. My sister convinced me to fight for 50/50, but it’s exhausting.

We’re going to mediation soon. She wants a 2-5 split so she can travel with the baby, but I’m pushing for a 2-2-3 schedule because I think five days is way too long for her to be away. Does anyone have experience with this? What do you think the judge will say? I’m doing all the legal paperwork myself because I can’t afford a lawyer.

I’m just trying to figure out what’s best for my baby and how to move forward."

My Take:

First off, you sound like a dad who really cares, and that’s a solid foundation to build on. Divorce is brutal, especially when it’s fresh, and navigating co-parenting, finances, and self-healing at the same time feels like climbing Everest in flip-flops. But here’s the good news: you’re already climbing.

Let’s break this down:

  1. Your 50/50 custody: I know it feels heavy right now, but don’t let go of it. Judges respect consistency and effort, and the 50/50 schedule shows your dedication as a father. Five days is a lot for a baby, and if you feel strongly about 2-2-3, bring that up in mediation. Courts typically prefer frequent, shorter visits for younger kids to maintain bonding.

  2. The living situation: It’s temporary. You’re a teacher, and that’s a noble, stable career. Finances will improve over time, and if you stick with 50/50, you’ll have a stronger case for more resources (child support adjustments, etc.). Right now, focus on creating the most loving, peaceful space you can, even if it’s small. Babies don’t need much—just you.

  3. Coping with the breakup: You still love her, but remember, she made her choice. You can’t control that, but you can control how you move forward. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel lonely. But trust me—joining a group like pickleball, a local dad’s group, or anything to get you out of the house will help you rebuild your confidence and your identity. You don’t have to replace her—you just need to reclaim you.

  4. The legal side: Doing this on your own is tough, but don’t give up. Look for legal aid services in your area; many nonprofits help with custody cases for free or low cost. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels that way.

  5. What the judge will say: Judges prioritize what’s best for the child, and your focus on stability and regular bonding time is exactly what they want to see. Be calm, reasonable, and child-focused during mediation. You’ve got this.

And hey—your baby is lucky to have a dad who’s fighting for them, even when it feels impossible. Keep showing up. Keep being present. It’ll get easier, and you’ll find yourself again in the process.

Resources to Explore:

  1. "The Co-Parenting Handbook" by Karen Bonnell – A must-read for navigating shared parenting post-divorce.
  2. "The Dad’s Edge: 9 Simple Ways to Have Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories" by Larry Hagner.
  3. A practical mediation guidebook to help you organize your thoughts before sessions.
  4. National Parents Organization – Resources for shared parenting advocacy and support.
  5. Group: Look for local single-parent or divorced dads’ groups on Meetup or Facebook (Like This One).

This chapter isn’t the end—it’s just the messy middle. Hang in there, man. You’re doing far better than you think. 💪Hashtags:
#SingleDadLife, #CoparentingJourney, #FathersMatter, #DivorceSupport, #ParentingThroughDivorce, #ChildCustody, #BetterDaysAhead, #ParentingWins, #StayStrongDad, #MovingForward, #DadSupport, #NewBeginnings, #ParentingTips, #FightingForMyKid, #LifeAfterDivorce


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