My ex-wife’s best friend, Sarah

 

"So, here’s the wild situation I’m dealing with—try to keep up.

My ex-wife’s best friend, Sarah (not her real name), has a brother, Steven. Steven just happens to be my ex-wife’s boyfriend from way back in the day.

A month ago, my ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce. Coincidentally, Steven is also going through a separation from his wife right now.
Here’s the kicker: Steven’s wife messaged me, claiming that my ex-wife and Steven have been in a relationship since my ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce.

When I asked my ex-wife if she was leaving me for Steven, she said no. But here we are now, and I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all."

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My Take:

Let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment: What if your ex-wife was telling the truth at the time she denied leaving you for Steven? It’s entirely possible that she and Steven weren’t officially “together” when she asked for the divorce. People often reconnect with those they already know after a breakup—it feels safe and familiar. The fact that they’re now spending time together doesn’t necessarily mean she left you for him.

That said, it doesn’t make the situation less frustrating or feel any less like a betrayal. Here’s how you might approach this:

1. Don’t Let the Timing Consume You

• Whether their relationship started before or after she asked for the divorce is ultimately irrelevant now. The real focus should be on moving forward and maintaining your sanity.

2. Set Boundaries

• If Steven’s involvement creates tension (especially with kids, if any are involved), you’re well within your rights to set clear boundaries about how things are handled going forward.

3. Focus on What You Can Control

• The truth is, you can’t control their decisions or actions, but you can control how you respond. Stay calm, keep your dignity, and prioritize your own healing.

4. Take the High Road

• Laugh at the absurdity of it if that helps—it’s a wild situation, after all—but don’t let it derail your focus on moving forward. Your ability to rise above will reflect on your character and help you in the long run.

Helpful Resources:

1. "The Unexpected Joy of Being Single" by Catherine Gray – A fresh perspective on navigating single life, available on Amazon.
2. ReGain Online Counseling – Affordable therapy for navigating complex divorce and post-divorce relationships.

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