When Life Feels Unbearable: How to Find Strength and Hope


A grieving parent shares their struggles with anxiety, depression, and PTSD following the loss of their son 16 years ago and estrangement from their daughter, whose last words to them were filled with hate. They feel unsupported by their spouse and overwhelmed by the holidays, wishing they could sleep through them. They’ve recently started therapy and have a new NP who feels promising, but the weight of their grief, combined with losing their service dog’s ability to help due to age and health, leaves them feeling at their breaking point.

1. Start with a Neutral, Open-Ended Conversation
First, acknowledge that what you’re feeling is deeply valid. Losing a child and dealing with estrangement are profound pains that no one should face alone. It’s okay to be overwhelmed. Start by gently asking yourself:

  • “What small step can I take today to care for myself, even just a little?”
    This helps shift the focus from solving everything to simply surviving this moment.

2. Emphasize Values and Solutions
Here are some approaches to help manage your feelings and situation:

  • Engage Fully in Therapy: You’ve already taken a brave step by starting counseling. Share openly about how heavy things feel—your therapist is there to help carry that burden.
  • Allow Grief Its Space: The holidays can trigger emotions, but they can also be redefined. Consider new traditions that honor your son or bring small comfort.
  • Lean on What Feels Safe: Your new NP and counselor seem supportive. Let them know you’d benefit from more frequent check-ins if needed.

3. Observe Without Micromanaging
Rather than trying to fix everything at once, focus on one manageable area:

  • Your Daily Routine: Can you find one consistent act of self-care, like journaling or taking a walk, to anchor your day?
  • Your Relationships: If your spouse isn’t emotionally available, seek connections elsewhere. A support group or trusted friend can help fill the gap.

4. Stay Open and Supportive
Your grief and depression may tell you that you’re alone, but you’re not. Surround yourself with people and activities that affirm your worth. A retired service dog still offers companionship; hold onto that bond while exploring new coping tools like weighted blankets or calming practices.

Resources

  1. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk (Amazon)
  2. It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine (Amazon)
  3. Weighted Blanket – Helps reduce anxiety and promote calm (Amazon)
  4. Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com) – Find local grief or PTSD support groups
  5. The Bridge – A supportive online community for navigating grief and mental health challenges

It’s clear you’re carrying a tremendous load, but you’ve shown incredible strength by seeking help. Take things one day, one hour, one moment at a time. Even in this darkness, there’s hope. You’re not alone, and your life still holds meaning and value.

#mentalhealthsupport #griefjourney #dealingwithloss #ptsdawareness #anxietyhelp #depressionawareness #copingwithgrief #mentalhealthmatters #selfcaretips #healingjourney #grievingparent #supportsystem #hopeandhealing #mentalwellbeing #survivingholidays #traumahealing #griefloss #youarenotalone #mentalhealthawareness #positivemindset #healingthroughgrief #selfcompassion #mentalhealthrecovery #strengththroughstruggle #lifeisworthliving

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